Things have been going well with the Alligator Girl but lately I have started to notice a few small details that concern me. The biggest concern is how much time she spends cleaning her teeth. She brushes for nearly an hour a day and complains about flesh and bits of bone stuck between her molars and sometimes I think I see another guys foot hanging out her mouth, or at least I think it’s a guy’s because its very hairy. Am I not good enough to eat, I ask her. She always denies that another guy’s foot is in her mouth but then she winks and says, maybe I’ll eat you someday. If I persist too much, she says I’m acting crazy and I’m hysterical and I end up sleeping on the couch. If I don’t persist she gives me a smooch on the cheek and we talk about how she spent her day rolling around in mud and chasing fish.